Last night, I had a rather upsetting dream.

It was about Fro-Yo.

Now before you gape in shock at the above oxymoron, or make any immediate judgments about the cool rather unusual subject of my dream, I ask you to first listen to this scarring subconscious encounter.

I was buying fro-yo. I guess this was Yo Mama instead of Berry Good, because I only ordered two toppings for $40 instead of three. The specific TNC at which I purchased this cup of oral delight was much less important to me than the actual cup itself, clearly.

The shopkeeper was unpleasant, unlike Aileen from Berry Good. Once, she gave me extra fro-yo when I onsidered buying a second cup of ‘Indulge’. AND I got an extra stamp, which meant one less to go before I get a free cup of fro-yo using my Berry Good card. Yeah as you can see, we’re pretty tight, Aileen and I. But evil virtual Aileen wasn’t like that. She grouchily scooped the swirls of fro-yo into the cup, and the moment she was finished, I knew she was spooning too little. According to my experience, the tip of the swirl has to at least reach 5cm above the rim of the cup. This one didn’t even go beyond it. Fuming at the injustice of her rationing, I complained vociferously.

However, little did I anticipate that she would respond with further bitterness. She snapped, “What toppings do you want?” “Oreo bits.” I immediately replied. However, the oreo bits weren’t well grounded, so they fell like bat droppings on my elegant white swirls of yummyness. The sight was most disquieting. Letting go, I ordered my second topping.

Now, you have to understand this- I was dreaming. I wasn’t in control of my decisions. The dream dictated the course of events. Perhaps it was out of some inexplicable desire to try out something new, or perhaps I just simply lost my marbles. Either way, I didn’t pick strawberries. Strawberries and oreos. It’s ALWAYS strawberries and oreos. But no, before I knew it, my hand directed itself towards some nutty granola bits. And before I could come to terms with this horrific revelation, iLeen 2.0 (hahahah get it) had already shoved the flakes of annihilation into my helpless cup.

It was terrible.

What was even worse was that, I WOKE UP before I got to eat my fro-yo. MY VIRTUAL FRO-YO! VIRTUAL $40 WASTED ON FRO-YO LEFT UNEATEN! 

I wonder what fro-yo would taste like in dreams.

I’m gonna chime “fro-yo, fro-yo…” before I go to sleep tonight.

That’s right.