Oh no, wait a second. I wasn’t considering the fact that it doesn’t snow in Hong Kong – ever. It will rain, to the point where it’s actually dangerous to be on the streets, but they won’t freeze it and give me a blizzard. I’m pretty sure I would be prepared to murder for a blizzard, just so that I could get that smooth sheet of pure snow when I wake up in the morning. I remember the sparse moments when it snowed in South-East England, and you looked out of your window at six in the morning to see the sets of footprints in the snow. 

But it’s officially winter. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, even though it was boiling yesterday afternoon, it definitely is. Winter has to be my favourite season, something about it being so mystical and romantic to me. However, I can’t help but think that there are its flaws. I was thinking 

about it when I was walking home today, a regime I want to stick to but know I’ll stop as soon as possible. 

So, since I love to rant with you guys, I think it’s time we had another list!

Bad Things About Winter:

• The Shaving Dilemma (Women Only): Like our fellow mammals, women are given fur for insulation. On those cold winter nights, you sometimes need all the help you can get. But sadly, PE has made sure to f*ck up all chances of covering up our legs if we wished to ‘forget’ to shave once in a while, and so we are merely left with the goose-bumps.
• Buying Presents: When a birthday comes around, all you need to do is give about one present – depending on the person. However, Christmas come around, and you realise that you stupidly have gotten yourself multiple close friends. Do you get them the same thing? Or, if not, how do you know who gets which one. And which place has the best Christmas sales? I’m just grateful that I’m not a parent for a while, since sorting this out for all my many relatives etc would certainly be a pain in the arse.
• Mistletoe (Singles only): The arch-foe of singles during Christmas time. Hung around the place, you avoid it at every cost. Obviously you’re not required to actually kiss, but either you’re with some randomer and there’s that awkward silence, or a pervert has decided that he will not leave, and will inform everyone about the rule of mistletoe.
• Feeling lonely: I know that there’s your family, and for couple’s, it’s fine. But sometimes you realise that your hand misses being held every now and again. On top of that, everyone has family obligations, so the amount of time you can actually spend with friends is limited. And, after all, they’re the family you choose. 

Nevertheless, I told you before that it’s my favourite season, and I stick by that. So, to be fair, it seems like we need another list to equal it out. 

Good Things About Winter:

• Christmas Music: It has to be said, I do love it. My house is completely filled with the holiday spirit where music is concerned. I think I pretty much know most of them off by heart. And if I don’t, then I want to. There is something about lying on your bed while ‘Winter Wonderland’ is playing in the background that kind of lifts your spirits. 
• Romance: Honestly, I think Winter and Christmas is more romantic than Valentine’s Day. On Valentine’s Day, you’re fussing about what to do with your partner or there’s pressure to find someone, and you end up arranging something last thing and giving each other sentimental gifts. On the days of December, you can relax at home, snuggled up on the sofa, and actually get gifts that are useful for the other three-hundred-and-sixty-four days of the year. I do like the sentimental stuff too, but I’d rather than a Bill Bailey live DVD. 
• Last Day of Term: Gifts, hanging out in Central with mates, and the freedom of knowing that you have a whole holiday ahead of you. And when you finally arrive home, you can crash out and think, ‘Let the celebrations begin.’
• Christmas: Pretty much I’ve incorporated the reasons above, so I don’t need to say any more. 
• New Year’s Eve and Day: The start of a new year. While I usually find it sad to say good-bye to the year that’s just passed me, I can’t help but enjoy it. Fireworks and champagne, you just have to look out and see the people celebrating together. The drunkards coming back from Lan Kwai, couples ready for the New Year’s kiss – the whole shebang. 

I probably could think of more, but not for tonight. I’ve pretty much been out and about for the entire weekend, so it comes to a point where I just can’t deny

 the temptation to lie down and do absolutely nothing. 

Aim For Next Week: I don’t actually have any deep aim which is connected with this post that I haven’t said already. So, I’m just going to tell you to take a leap. Too many things have not happened because people have been too scared to go for it. Well, what bullsh*t. I have faith in you. If you fall, pick yourself up again. We have our whole lives to fix the things that have gone wrong.

Living Water International is the charity we’re working through with our fundraising proceeds. This is a video one of their staff (and liaison) posted on FB and popped up on my feed not so long ago. It is the story of the thirsty.

The Story of the Thirsty from Living Water International.

After returning I had a freezing shower. I started thinking of adjectives to describe the frigidity of the water. I had only begun on the cliche ones – a cold dagger – when torrential heated water gushed forth from the shower head. Lucky one there indeed.

Going back, I bought a “Well” laptop notebook the day before. It is a 10.5″ with a hard crimson laminated shell. Best of all, it weighs in at only 100g and never needs recharging. This, my friends, is the epitome of technology.  

Oh, and talk about the school netbook discount program. This one cost HK$39 original price.

Derek also took advantage of the situation and bought this one:

Just, “Wow”.

 And a thank you to Arthur Lee for covering me Friday.

Edit: Result, I’m back, I’ve had a nap, and I’m ready to write a short thing about the trip later on! And, I’ve noticed that I am the only author who hasn’t missed a deadline now. Either I’m just awesome, or I have to really rethink what the hell I’m doing with my life. 

The battle of the sexes has been going on for generations, and it’s always the same arguments. 

Men: We’re stronger.
Women: We can multitask. 
Men: Women can act manly, but not the other way round.
Women: We bleed once a month.

Funnily enough, that line manages to win it for us, no matter how long we argue for. It’s a bit odd, because the amount of blood some men must lose in brawls has got to at least give us a run for our money, but PMS rules all.  However, and you know this baffles me, we still want to be with each other at the end of the day. Not including homosexuals, though how they manage that is beyond me. I can’t even live with myself on a bad day, let alone ANOTHER female…

Anyway, my last blog had a lot of my own input and general opinion of a lot of women. Nevertheless, I did realise that I cannot account for all women. So, I decided to round up a few and ask for their opinion. Of course, there was some reluctance, but I managed to threaten persuade them to agree with this. And, just to throw it in, one of them will be me. Let’s see if you can figure it out!

Q1) OK. So I’m just going to dive in with this one. Most attractive quality in a male? 
Woman No. 1: Personality. And eyes.
Woman No. 2: His penis (Hysterical laughter and ‘KIDDING’ made me feel that maybe she didn’t want me to post that up. But I did.) Um… personality. 
Woman No. 3: He has to be funny. I cannot stress this enough. A funny guy is always the one who knows how to get to me. If you can make me sincerely laugh, then you’re practically there.

Q2) Alright, that was easy enough. Now what do you consider to be the biggest turn off?
Woman No. 1: If the guy is a jerk.
Woman No. 2: Hmm (Oh dear Lord)… When he’s being short with you or cynical. Like when you’re trying to talk with them and they just respond with, “OK.” 
Woman No. 3: Rowdy guys. I don’t get why boys think it’s impressive when they act like total dicks around their friends. The guy just ends up appearing so fake, and I can never stand it.

Q3) Sexiest/Most Appealing fictional character, and why?
Woman No. 1: Edward Cullen, bcause he’s a vampire with yellow eyes. (This is where we shamelessly self-promote the school newspaper coming up because it features Twilight addiction. Well this would be where, if it wasn’t for the fact I’m not sure what the newspaper’s actually called…)
Woman No. 2: Fictional character? Wow. (Laughter) Hmm, I have to think about this one. (And here we go again.) James Bond. Because not only is he intelligent, he’s sexy too. 
Woman No. 3: For the sex, probably Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre, without his sappy stage half way through. He was dark, brooding and addicting. But in terms of who I would date the most… then, damn can’t think of one. I’ve got sex for brains.

 Q4) What’s the best advice you’ve ever had in the field of romance?
Woman No. 1: Follow your heart.
Woman No. 2: To be honest, none of my friends give me much romantic advice. That and half of them have no idea what to say anyways (laughter). (Lucky for her, she managed to take it back before I could actually be offended by that one. Still am, though.) 
Woman No. 3: F*ck ‘em. (Laughs) No. Probably just to be yourself. There’s no point trying to make a guy fall for someone you’re not. (I know. They keep effing saying. But Myself isn’t really doing a good job…)

Q5) Last one for now – or ever, you know how it is. If you could tell the world of men ONE thing, what would it be?
Woman No. 1: They suck. (Well put!) 
Woman No. 2: Hmm… OK (JESUS!) If you genuinely like a girl, then you shouldn’t waste time with just messing around with her. You could lose your chance if she feels too confused and gives up on you. On the other hand, if you don’t like her, then don’t lead her on. That could destroy your friendship.
Woman No. 3: (After a lot of umming and ahing – thanks for wasting half an hour of my life, by the way.) Live in the moment. We aren’t going to wait forever. (Or are we?)

So what can we take from this experience? Well, too many of you act like jackasses. English men are sexy – in fiction, anyway. Nobody seems to give a shit about how macho you are, so get over it. Anything else? Nothing you weren’t expecting. Or were you? I hope to one day do this for the guys, in case I have said earlier – I’m adding on after a week, give me a break – but only time will tell.

Now onto Italy.

I know that it would be very discourteous of me to completely brag about a trip that you didn’t go on. 

BUT IT WAS AWESOME! 

I’m not going to go into TOO much detail, since that would make this blog insanely long, and I would be depriving other authors of talking about it with me. So I’m just going to talk about the top (sort of) ten highlights that are not necessarily education – in fact, they’re not – but I feel that it may interest people to hear.

1. In Pompeii, there’s an old brothel in which erotic art is all over the walls of different sex positions. This was so that foreigners coming into the country could just point at what they wanted. And, if they didn’t know where to go, there is actually a penis pointing towards the brothel. This isn’t graffiti, folks. This was the work of one of the most sophisticated societies. 
2. Heather: If I had a boyfriend, I would bring him here.
   Tim: If I had a boyfriend, it would be AK.
3. OK actually comes from ‘all correct’. I know, we all see the flaws here.
4. Bella means ‘beautiful’, not woman. Heather learnt this the hard way when a waiter called her ‘Bella’ and she said, ‘I know.’
5. If you say you’re from Hong Kong, or speak Chinese, you get better bargains. Even in some actual small stores.
6. Salesperson: You dropped something.
   Carol: What?
   Salesperson: My heart.
   *Later*
   Salesperson: Someone dropped my heart…
7. You will never find a street that DOESN’T sell gelato in Italy.
8. Italy needs to rethink what stars they give which hotel. A four star hotel with a lock that doesn’t work? I don’t think so. On that note about the same hotel: apparently tourists fly all around the world to Italy to look at pictures of a slightly historical Yorkshire house.
9. Do you wanna die?!? It’s an in joke that not even I found funny, but you have to laugh every-time you see Brandon’s reaction.
10. I love Shoe shopping. Might as well save it for last.

Aim For Next Week: Relax your f*cking brain out. Even with the fun of Discovery Week, there were aspects that made your feet ache and your body collapse by eleven. So, not including times where you have to do your homework, chill and enjoy. We have plenty of gossip and sleep to catch up on, so I highly doubt you’ll find this a hard task. 

(214): dude. I’m so drunk.
(972): pete, this is bryce’s mom
(214): I can’t wait to have my cock in your ass
(972): pete, this is still bryce’s mom

(912): just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart

(203): just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you

(240): Banned from zoo.
(301): Again?

(215): he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles

(303): Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England

(905): Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
(1-905): With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.

(858): You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don’t have a cat.

(509): Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you

(972): some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.

(978): i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass….i thought i was floating butt first into heaven

(410): she called my cock the “semen sword” and then we invented a position called excalibur

(469): i just woke up and “where the fuck is taco bell” was in my search engine…

(202): therell be strippers and coke right?
(703): no strippers. just coke.
(202): i hate this fuckin recession

(315): he saw my “i like bacon” magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
(607): what a beautiful fairy tale

(678): All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
(404): You mean bread?

(757): I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming “i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!”

(870): You called information & said “connect me to johnny depp” when they told u it wasn’t listed u said ” try depp comma johnny he’s expecting my call”
(I could totally see myself doing that.)

(616): who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss

(810): kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says “knucks.” And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I’ve ever had puking.

(734): i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.

(812): McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!….how many u want?
(1-812): All of them

(408): When I’m drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i’m throwing lightning bolts into the toilet…it helps me focus.

(321): Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
(1-321): he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
(321): no his phone, idiot.

(402): what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
(1-402): are you high?

(516): Things to remember: Girls don’t appreciate it when you yell “Beast Mode!” when switching to doggy style.

(207): I may be a little high but I’m pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
(617): We call that spaghetti Os

(650): the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
(1-650): dude, it’s 2 am.
(650): but its COMING

(732): you sent me 45 texts saying “meow?”
(1-732): did i?

Or as wikipedia prefers to describe it, “Spiders (order Araneae) are air-breathing chelicerate arthropods that have body segments fused into two tagmata, the cephalothorax and abdomen,  joined by a small, cylindrical pedicel, as well as eight legs.

…

… Yeah. That was… real helpful wikipedia. Thanks. ( to those of you who only understood that last part… I commend you for your normality )

I think it’s fair to say that most of us dislike Spiders. Or at the very least, draw sinister or negative associations with them- unless you’re some kind of eager Entomologist who would leap at the opportunity of an encounter with spiders. In which case, I would be most interested to know, what on earth are you doing on this blog site?

But aside from such anomalous people that I will now parry my attention from, I think we would generally agree that Spiders = BAD. And if you disagree with me, here is a quick test to confirm whether or not we’re on the same page.

Did you know that on average, every human being eats 8 spiders during sleep in their lifetime?

Now check your reaction upon reading that and see if you still think spiders are lovely and adorable.

That’s how I’ve always thought of spiders. That is, until a rather extraordinary encounter altered this precept completely.

Friday afternoon. The granite road was scintillating under the warm saturation of October sunlight, momentarily scalding my eye as I trudged towards the school buses. The experience was far from pleasant. The drive elongated with every step I took. Every eye beheld me as I  made my way towards the designated bus. Self-consciousness consumed my system. Has my shirt wiggled to a weird angle? Is my fringe looking funny? Does holding my bag like this make me look like a dork? In a futile attempt to look ‘cooler’ than I felt, I pretended I was as unaffected as can be. But in reality, every hormone inside my body was screaming, “WHERE ON EARTH IS THAT BLINKING BUS?”  It was basically like walking down a catwalk, except I suddenly forgot how to walk, the fashionable elite had metamorphosed into smoke-exhausting mechanical contraptions, and instead of looking glamorous, I was looking about as suave as having a devious segment of toilet roll getting stuck on the soles of my shoe as I walked along the reveling runway.

Then I finally get on the bus, just to have a rather disgruntled bus mother barking for my bus card. Immediately, some sensible part of me grew nervous, and for good reason as well: I didn’t have a bus card. Indeed. You see, I have been cheating my own bus mother out of the rare ride back to Repulse Bay by making her believe that I do in fact take her bus. After a rather befuddling conversation, she gave in. However, this feisty Mid-Levels bus mother wasn’t about to accept that too soon. When she asked me if I had a bus card, I told her I didn’t have it with me. Not a lie. Then she asked me which bus I took, and I pointed out the Repulse Bay one.  Not a lie… as I do take it, though illegitimately. But she didn’t need to know that for now. Then she asked for my name. Ah, crap. I hastily gave her my name, and nervously sat on my seat, awaiting my fate.

It was then that I spotted the spider. It wasn’t on my bus seat. Nor was it on the seat in front of me. Not on the window. No, not on the floor either.

It was on the bus mother’s butt.

As she walked back to the front of the bus, I watched fascinatingly as the poor creature scrambled its way hastily around her right cheek, then upon realizing that she was turning towards the right to sit down, darted desperately towards her left cheek and escaped just in time as the bus mother plunged her unknowing backside into the squashy (unintended pun) depths of the bus seat.

How. absolutely. AWESOME. 

This is a spider, who just executed a hollywood-worthy move there. No seriously, it was as pro as the dark freaking knight when he swung from the top of IFC 2 to IFC 1 with a cord, except this spider doesn’t even NEED a cord, cuz it’s faster, better, stronger and harder. I mean, just take some time to imagine how HARD it must be for the spider. The bus mother was wearing silky trousers which were tight on her. The natural curvature of her butt surface would be difficult enough to provide sufficient grip, coupled with the silky texture of her trousers, would further eliminate the friction that the spider needed to make a successful expedition over the expanse of her buttock. Now to realize its need for escape just based on a slight change in direction of the bus mother’s movement? I’m sorry, but with such agile speed and apt deduction abilities, I would find it hard to believe you if you aren’t in awe of this minuscule arthropod by now.

Gossip has to be our biggest addiction in the teen world. It doesn’t always have to be malicious – to a certain extent – but it seems that we cannot go on without talking and reflecting on the events that we know have occurred. We bitch, we inform, and we fish for more to pass on. Parties, sleep-overs, or anything with a large amount of your close friends is the best place to do the deed, but it’s a fix we indulge on pretty much on a daily basis. How much is too much? Some say we should stop as soon as we open our mouths, but I have a slightly different view… 

I gossip. I’ll raise my hand up and admit it. If I’ve found out something that either shocks, angers or just amuses me, I pass it on to a friend, although this depends on the level of secrecy behind the gossip. You can’t help it really, can you? After all, how can you deny your inner circle, the ones who you share everything with? If you can tell them about your dark family history, then what the hell is it so wrong to talk about who fancied who three years ago? 

But of course, like all things, it can become deadly. Knowledge is always a powerful thing, no matter what the subject, and how you use it and what you let out is absolutely vital. After all, a bit of gossip, even with the kindest intentions, can turn sour on someone. I, for one, personally experienced it when I was questioned on a matter that was quite personal to me. While it should really be a celebrated matter, I hadn’t expected so many to question me at once, and I couldn’t even look anyone in the eye. As one of them had actually said:

Obviously, I have no bitter feelings towards the people who did it, but it just goes to show how if you tell the wrong person something personal to you, it can result in such a thing. And though the incident is over and done with, I can still feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and the anger when someone had said, “So-and-so was right,” when I thought that so-and-so really should have said no such thing. But onto my next point – this is a blog, not therapy. 

Also, some people lack the correct politics to handle gossip. These are the ones who tell the wrong people – even maybe the person actually involved. We feel guilty about being angry at these people, since being so innocent as to not understand how to be sneaky and – let’s be honest – a bit of a bitch should be something to congratulate a person for. Still, it goes against the unspoken code that when it comes to the subject of the gossip, you pretend to know nothing until informed. After all, I pretty much think I would be screwed now if some people knew the amount of information I actually knew – you see, I do have a capacity for knowledge – I just decided not to use it for Chemistry until the last minute. 

I know, I know, this seems to be far less light-hearted than the other blogs you’re used to here, but it’s been on my mind a lot recently. In fact, ever since an event that can still be considered fresh, it’s been almost the only thing on my mind. Listening to David Cook, I’m even pausing now, just to figure out exactly how to fit everything on my mind in a diplomatic and interesting way in a blog. To be honest, I’m pretty sure I could write a book on the matter of teen life and its politics if I were asked. Perhaps it was my background, but the sensitivity to this is enormous. Also, it could be that I’m constantly on damage control. 

I’m not banning you from gossip. After all, I just admitted that I was a fanatic. But I do warn you of this, young ones: Gossip hurts. If you don’t play your cards right, the repercussions are painful to endure. And you’ll be surprised at how much can actually go wrong with one foul move. However, gossip and bitching can actually be a healthy release of what’s troubling you. The important thing is just to not screw up. No pressure. 

Aim For Next Week: OK, this one is more complicated than it sounds: be honest. If someone’s actions have been bothering you, and it personally involves you, then tell them. I know that sometimes you think you can sweep it under the carpet, but it can actually be the best solution at times. And I don’t mean be honest about someone else - I’ll personally hunt you down if you’ve been abusing my advice.

Keep playing the good game, people. x